Numbers - Caught in the middle
Have you ever felt stuck? Stuck in a spot where you are unsure what to do? Or maybe you are at a fork in the road, wondering which way to go?
Have you ever felt God has asked you to just wait? Wait patiently on Him to do His work?
Over the last 9 months or so I have felt like I am stuck in the middle... Some days it feels like a nightmare, other days I feel peace. Some days I feel discouraged and want to give up, while other days I have joy and contentment.
If you read my first blog post you know that in December my husband of 15 years decided he didn't love me anymore and that his life would be much better off with someone else. When my world came crashing down all around me I could do nothing other than run to God for comfort. In the early days after everything seemed to fall apart, I believe God spoke to me very clearly. He told me that He was the God of restoration, that He was the ultimate healer! I believe He made me a PROMISE during those days, a promise He has yet to fulfill.
When I returned to the states with my 4 children in January I was lost... I was stuck. I was discouraged, depressed, lonely and confused. The only thing that kept me going was God. I wanted to give up, but then something happened... Within the first day or two God kept doing some crazy things in my life and they all revolved around a number. The same number EVERY TIME! In fact this number came up so frequently I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this number. I knew He had to have a reason for this number to show up over and over the first several days. As I sought after what God wanted me to do with this number, I believe He told me to wait... To wait on Him for that number of days. He made me a promise and now He was revealing a little more of when that promise would come to pass.
Let me just say that I am not a very patient person. This number was not a small one! In fact for someone who hates waiting and has very little patience it was a HUGE number... But I knew if I was willing to be obedient and hold onto this number and believe in the promise God told me He would fulfill that it would be worth the wait.
Fast forward to today... This morning I woke up. It started out as a good day. I did my quiet time, checked my email, scrolled through facebook... And then I saw it, a friend struggling and asking for power verses to help her get through the day. I immediately shared one of my favorite verses that has helped me during this dark time in my life,
Joshua 1:9 - Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or DISCOURAGED for the Lord your God is with you.
After sharing this verse with my friend I moved on with my day; grocery shopping, errands, physical therapy with my son, etc. At one point during the day this verse popped back up in my mind, especially the part about not being discouraged. Later in the day I received a strange text from my ex-husband... one of those texts that you aren't sure if it should give you hope or make you angry. So I questioned his text only to find that it wasn't hope at all. What happened next was me feeling super discouraged. Like the kind that steals your joy. The kind that makes you question the wait, question the promise God made to you. And if I'm honest at one point the thought went through my mind that God wasn't going to have enough time to fulfill that promise He made to me... That the number He asked me to hang onto was now very small... to small. There would never be enough time for him to fulfill His promise to me.
After dinner and cleanup I decided to crawl into bed... defeated and discouraged. As I was laying here I decided to check my email. Secretly hoping for a positive email from the ex, but knowing it was highly unlikely. I got excited when I saw I had one email... but then realized it wasn't from him. It was however from my Aunt. She was writing to let me know that she had received a gift on behalf of two sponsored children in Honduras that she collects money for from friends. As she shared the gift amounts given for each child she also mentioned that the person had included a rather large gift for me personally as well. I was so excited and didn't realize at first what I had just read. I shot my Aunt an email back letting her know how thankful I was. After sending the email I went back and reread the email she sent... And there it was! After being discouraged all evening and wanting to give up on the wait, not believing God would be able to fulfill His promise, there it was... All three gifts for me and the 2 sponsored children added up to the exact number of days God asked me to wait!! This was God's way of letting me know that He is still working, that He is still in control and that He WILL fulfill His promise to me!
Listen to me when I say, We have a mighty and powerful God! His timing is perfect! Nothing is impossible for Him! NOTHING! When He makes a promise He will never not fulfill it!
Tonight I will go to bed knowing that my God is in control, His timing is better than mine and He will fulfill His promise to me if I will choose to be patient and wait on Him!
Have you ever felt God has asked you to just wait? Wait patiently on Him to do His work?
Over the last 9 months or so I have felt like I am stuck in the middle... Some days it feels like a nightmare, other days I feel peace. Some days I feel discouraged and want to give up, while other days I have joy and contentment.
If you read my first blog post you know that in December my husband of 15 years decided he didn't love me anymore and that his life would be much better off with someone else. When my world came crashing down all around me I could do nothing other than run to God for comfort. In the early days after everything seemed to fall apart, I believe God spoke to me very clearly. He told me that He was the God of restoration, that He was the ultimate healer! I believe He made me a PROMISE during those days, a promise He has yet to fulfill.
When I returned to the states with my 4 children in January I was lost... I was stuck. I was discouraged, depressed, lonely and confused. The only thing that kept me going was God. I wanted to give up, but then something happened... Within the first day or two God kept doing some crazy things in my life and they all revolved around a number. The same number EVERY TIME! In fact this number came up so frequently I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this number. I knew He had to have a reason for this number to show up over and over the first several days. As I sought after what God wanted me to do with this number, I believe He told me to wait... To wait on Him for that number of days. He made me a promise and now He was revealing a little more of when that promise would come to pass.
Let me just say that I am not a very patient person. This number was not a small one! In fact for someone who hates waiting and has very little patience it was a HUGE number... But I knew if I was willing to be obedient and hold onto this number and believe in the promise God told me He would fulfill that it would be worth the wait.
Fast forward to today... This morning I woke up. It started out as a good day. I did my quiet time, checked my email, scrolled through facebook... And then I saw it, a friend struggling and asking for power verses to help her get through the day. I immediately shared one of my favorite verses that has helped me during this dark time in my life,
Joshua 1:9 - Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or DISCOURAGED for the Lord your God is with you.
After sharing this verse with my friend I moved on with my day; grocery shopping, errands, physical therapy with my son, etc. At one point during the day this verse popped back up in my mind, especially the part about not being discouraged. Later in the day I received a strange text from my ex-husband... one of those texts that you aren't sure if it should give you hope or make you angry. So I questioned his text only to find that it wasn't hope at all. What happened next was me feeling super discouraged. Like the kind that steals your joy. The kind that makes you question the wait, question the promise God made to you. And if I'm honest at one point the thought went through my mind that God wasn't going to have enough time to fulfill that promise He made to me... That the number He asked me to hang onto was now very small... to small. There would never be enough time for him to fulfill His promise to me.
After dinner and cleanup I decided to crawl into bed... defeated and discouraged. As I was laying here I decided to check my email. Secretly hoping for a positive email from the ex, but knowing it was highly unlikely. I got excited when I saw I had one email... but then realized it wasn't from him. It was however from my Aunt. She was writing to let me know that she had received a gift on behalf of two sponsored children in Honduras that she collects money for from friends. As she shared the gift amounts given for each child she also mentioned that the person had included a rather large gift for me personally as well. I was so excited and didn't realize at first what I had just read. I shot my Aunt an email back letting her know how thankful I was. After sending the email I went back and reread the email she sent... And there it was! After being discouraged all evening and wanting to give up on the wait, not believing God would be able to fulfill His promise, there it was... All three gifts for me and the 2 sponsored children added up to the exact number of days God asked me to wait!! This was God's way of letting me know that He is still working, that He is still in control and that He WILL fulfill His promise to me!
Listen to me when I say, We have a mighty and powerful God! His timing is perfect! Nothing is impossible for Him! NOTHING! When He makes a promise He will never not fulfill it!
Tonight I will go to bed knowing that my God is in control, His timing is better than mine and He will fulfill His promise to me if I will choose to be patient and wait on Him!
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